Gravity
by Ithinkyoullknxw
Summary: Arizona wasn't looking for anything. In fact, she was consciously not looking for anything at all. Can the stranger with the beautiful voice and a rarely seen miraculous smile change that? Or are they both a bit too broken? A/U Calzona.
1. Chapter 1

_"I finally found what I never knew I always wanted."_

A tiny pool of drool had begun to collect onto the pillow, a cheek crumpled face first against the bed, mouth hanging open and a quiet snore filling the room. Laying on her stomach and managing to take up every inch of her double bed, Callie was passed out, still wearing her skin tight dress from the night before and one ridiculously high heel.

The loud banging was relentless, tugging her harshly from the delicious sleep she'd been safely cocooned in. Not ready to wake yet, Callie groans in protest, taking the one shoe from her foot and throwing it against her bedroom door angrily. When the obnoxious noise quietens, she mumbles in content, pushing her face further into her pillow and trying to find the state of unconsciousness again as quickly as possible.

"Torres!"

Callie groans again, pulling a pillow over her head.

"Torres, I'm coming in, make sure your ass is covered this time."

"Suck it, Mark," she meant to sound forceful but it came out as more of a drunken, sleepy slur.

Ignoring his friend, Mark lets himself into Callie's bedroom, yanking the pillow from her face and throwing it on the bed, "get up, Torres."

"Go to hell."

Mark sighed, already used to her sharp tongue these days, "you can't keep doing this, Callie," he spoke to the back of his half asleep best friend, "you're making yourself ill and I'm not gonna stand back and watch it anymore. So get up, get your ass in the shower because frankly kid, you stink something rotten, drink some coffee and sort your damn head out Callie because you're a mess and one day you're going to end up in a state that even I can't get you out of."

Finally rolling over, Callie glares at Mark, sitting up on her elbows, "I don't need you to be my hero Mark, stop kidding yourself."

"Next time you call me at 4am because you've stumbled out of the club too drunk and off your face on god knows what that you can't even find your way home, maybe I'll let one of the good for nothing losers you let sniff around you take you home instead. Get up Torres, and get your shit together."

Giving a last shake of his head, Mark backs out of the apartment, letting the door slam loudly with a satisfied smirk, knowing the noise will do little to help his hungover friend.

Eventually, Callie forces herself out of her pit, brushing a hand through her knotted hair. She stumbles towards her bathroom, ignoring as she kicks over an empty bottle of wine. She climbs into a steaming hot shower and attempts to wash away her sins.

* * *

 _She barely recognises the sounds around her, nothing else matters. The gun shot still echoes around them and the stench of stale blood floods her senses, bright red oozing mess. "No! No!" the voice sounds distant, as though it's coming from far away but it's her own mouth making the words, letting them tumble from her dry throat._

 _You do not give up; do you hear me? You hold on! I promise, we're getting out of here, okay?"_

 _She holds the woman tight against her chest, rocking and crying herself, "It's going to be okay, Gee. You're going to live, for me, for the kids. Just live."_

 _Arizona clutches a warm cheek, shaking her head vehemently at the realisation, "no! No! Please, god, no."_

Sitting up quickly, Arizona throws the blanket from her shaking body desperately, clutching her chest as she tries to breath. The sudden movement knocks the glass of water from the bedside table and sends it falling to the floor with a bang, shattering instantly.

"Shit." Arizona puts her head in her hands, rubbing her face and willing herself to breath, "just a dream. It's just a dream." She flicks the lamp on beside her, reaching for her phone with a sigh. It's only just after 7 but she's all too familiar with the fact that attempting to sleep again would be futile.

Pulling on her silky black robe, Arizona takes her half read book and heads into the living room of her apartment, leaving the mess for another time. She curls up in one corner, a blanket draped over her legs as she settles her nerves with a mindless romance novel.

A couple of hours later and Arizona made her way to her favourite coffee shop before work. It was out of the way and her friend always questioned why she'd walk the much longer route but she insisted the coffee was worth losing the extra twenty minutes in bed. And it had completely, categorically, absolutely nothing to do with the brunette beauty who was often found singing just outside said coffee shop. Nothing at all.

Today, Arizona noticed she had a guitar with her as she perched on the wall and played quietly. She had a small hat and a cardboard sign with 'thank you' scrawled in black marker pen.

Over the weeks Arizona had noticed she wasn't much of a performer. She sang practically to herself in her own world and seemed almost sad, like the weight of the world rested on her tired shoulders.

Arizona stands by the door of the coffee shop and took a moment to listen, the melodic voice of the stranger was soothing to the blonde, in ways she'd never let herself think about for fear of the answer.

 _"I know I'm not the only one, who regrets the things they've done. Sometimes I just feel it's only me, who can't stand the reflection that they see."_ Callie strums the guitar gently, like she is made to make music. She sings loudly enough but pays little attention to those around her.

 _I wish I could live a little more, look up to the sky, not just the floor. I feel like my life is flashing by and all I can do is watch and cry."_

Looking up as she finishes her song, she offers a tentative smile to the blonde she notices watching her almost daily. It's probably her favourite part of her day recently.

Callie receives a bashful smile in return and it makes her insides flip wonderfully. For the rest of the morning, they both almost forget to be sad.


	2. Chapter 2

_"I finally found what I never knew I always wanted."_

Arizona rests her cheek against a far smaller head, her nose nestling into tufts of blonde hair. She stifles a yawn, her hand large on a fragile back as she rubs it tenderly, "sleepy boy, huh?" she whispers to the young baby as he gives into his own early morning sleepiness and yawns, eyelids barely open.

Standing by the large bay window, Arizona looks out, rocking side to side safely with the baby against her chest. She's chilly, just in a small vest top and underwear, a white cotton robe loosely thrown on in her haste. A soft blanket is wrapped protectively around the boy she cradles and she pulls it up further, ensuring he is warm and content.

The day has barely begun and an autumn mist sits in the air, dew on the grass making it shine slightly in the light of the sun as it begins to rise.

In the silence of the early morning, she can hear the gentle breathing and almost inaudible murmurs of a baby fighting its sleep.

"Shall we rest some more baby, huh? Get some more shut eye ready for a big day?" Arizona lays herself along her couch, baby still resting against her chest. She carefully drapes the couch throw over her legs, her piercing blue eyes watching as equally blue eyes begin to lose the battle of consciousness.

"I love you, Jakey. I do, I love you so much." Arizona presses kisses to the little one, swallowing the lump in her throat.

 _"Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away,"_ with another gentle kiss, she sings softly, her voice soothing, warm and familiar, encasing the infant in love, _"catch a falling star and put it in your pocket,_ _save it for a rainy day."_

Arizona wakes to the sound of screaming almost two hours later. Grumbling slightly and forcing herself to blink away the exhaustion she's carrying, she heaves herself up with the awfully loud new born, letting the blanket fall to the floor as she stands, "woken up grumpy, check. Full, incredibly smelly diaper, check. Empty belly, check. We're doing a good job, hey big boy?" Nuzzling their noses together for a second, Arizona breathes in his intoxicating baby smell before taking him into the kitchen and preparing his bottle.

Once fed, bathed and changed, Jake is happy to be adorned with love and cuddles. His beautiful innocence makes Arizona's heart soar. "My sweet little boy," she whispers, mostly to herself.

She loves him. Raw, passionate, unconditional love she never knew she was capable of. She loves him with every cell of her body. But desperately, as her emotions take over and tears fall freely, more than anything, Arizona wishes this wasn't the way her life had played out.

* * *

When Callie's alarm sounds loudly on Monday morning, she's already wide awake and for the first time in almost a week, she's not hungover.

She's _excited._

Clambering up out of bed, she flicks on the radio and opens her curtains, even humming along to the music and swaying her hips playfully. She wants to look her best, wanting to catch the eye of the pretty blonde whose name she doesn't know but whose face hasn't left Callie's mind in days. She couldn't say what it is about the stranger but something about her begs to be known and Callie really, really wants to get to know her.

After fixing her make-up and making sure her hair sits perfectly, she pulls on a pair of jeans she knows make her butt look incredible and finds the perfect top, feeling good about herself in a way she'd almost forgotten she could.

Callie's mood doesn't stay this way when for hours she waits, playing any song that comes to mind and waiting for a glimpse of particular blonde hair. She packs away her guitar slightly later than usual, ready to get home and forget. She kind of hates herself for thinking she may be worth something more than she has convinced herself. She kind of hates the blonde stranger with the bluest eyes and magical smile who has done absolutely nothing to her at all. She kind of hates everyone.

Just as she's about to pack away her microphone and leave, Callie catches sight of the one person she's been waiting for. She turns away, forcing the glimmer of hope she can feel in the pit of her stomach deep, deep down. But, she can't help herself. She _has_ to see that face.

The blonde is looking at Callie from afar when she turns back and the stupid flutter of hope is back. Except, all she can notice is the sadness radiating behind those blue, blue eyes and instead of that long lost hope, something else replaces it. Something that shocks Callie completely. Because the sadness of a stranger shouldn't make her heart ache, should it? The knowledge that a stranger has clearly been crying shouldn't make her want to right all the wrongs in a world she isn't even part of, right?

Before she knows what she's doing, Callie is making eye contact again and something inside her makes her mouth "wait" to the woman who tilts her head slightly in intrigue.

Tapping her foot along to the beat inside her head, Callie starts to sing the first song that comes to mind with no music and just a tentative smile across her lips.

 _"Pretty woman, walkin' down the street, pretty woman, the kind I'd like to meet. Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth. No one could look as good as you, mercy."_

The smile she's rewarded with is something absolutely magnificent. It's a mix of shy, shocked and wonderfully happy and Callie thinks her life will never be the same now she's seen it.

 _"Pretty woman won't you pardon me, pretty woman, I couldn't help but see, pretty woman, that you look as lovely as can be. Are you lonely, just like me?"_

They keep their eyes on each other as though they aren't standing on a crowded street, as though they know more than just the details of each other's face, but as soon as the song is over and the applause has finished, the blonde is long gone and Callie is exactly where she always is.

Alone.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N So if you follow me on Tumblr you've probably seen me say I wouldn't be writing anymore. Thanks to some lovely, lovely people, I'm going to continue. Thanks so much for all your reviews and to everyone whose reading this. I truly hope you're enjoying it. This chapter is quite Arizona heavy. I think in the next chapter the girls will finally talk properly!_

 _"I finally found what I never knew I always wanted."_

 _The warmth of the couch cocoons her, a large throw draped over her exhausted body. The smell of home is soothing, the familiar scent forcing a sense of security and safety that doesn't exist. That will never exist again. Blonde hair is scraped up onto her head. It still smells of blood. Her hands are still covered in red that only she can see. Knees curled up into her chest; folded into herself to feel okay. To feel anything at all. She doesn't have to open her eyes to know they're there. She doesn't have to hear them say it to know her truth. He's dead. Everyone is dead._

Gasping for air, Arizona clutches her chest and tries to fight away the fog of her nightmare. The fear surrounds her, engulfing her until she can't think of anything else. She clambers quickly out of her bed, the blankets falling haphazardly to the floor. Her hand manages to catch the light switch and turn it on as she rushes out the door and into the nursery. The light provides enough guidance without disturbing the person she is seeking out. Finally, Arizona comes to a halt at the crib. The gentle breathing of the sleeping boy is instantly calming, her hand against his tiny chest as his heart beat soothes away the tightness that resides in her heart. She picks Jake up, settling down in the rocking chair and crying herself to sleep with the bundle in her arms the only thing to keep her grounded.

Jake is fed, changed and dressed, his bright blue eyes looking up at Arizona as she rocks him when the door knocks hours later. The idea of ignoring it flickers slightly across her mind and then disappears just as quickly. Keeping the baby wrapped contently inside his favourite blanket, settled perfectly in her arms as though made for each other, Arizona opens the door, letting Teddy inside before slouching back on her couch.

"Nice to see you too."

Arizona rolls her eyes, sighing softly and throwing her best friend a glare before turning her attention back to Jake who is as mesmerised as ever at the blonde woman holding him.

"How's my favourite little boy?" Teddy's bag falls from her shoulder and onto the floor and she scoots in close to the two blondes. It's the first time she sees Arizona smile, "perfect as always, aren't you big boy, huh? That's right Jakey," she coos gently and Jake blinks up at her as if he might have some idea he is being addressed.

"He's gotten bigger since yesterday, I swear."

"He grows like a weed, don'tcha little man?" Arizona presses her soft pink lips to his forehead, taking a breath and savouring in his existence.

"You look like crap."

Arizona almost pouts, "gee. Thanks."

"That's what friends are for. Give me the kid and go get a shower and a nap, Arizona. We got this."

"Thanks Teddy but I've got to get to work."

It's silent for a moment before Teddy speaks, both sets of eyes on the now sleeping baby instead of each other, "Arizona, we both kn-"

"Don't." She jumps up as quickly as she can with Jake, handing him to Teddy before heading into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind her. It's only half an hour later when she emerges, showered and dressed. She stops by the door, turning back to Teddy, to her very best friend, "I'll be back soon. Look after him."

Teddy watches as the door closes and Arizona is gone.

Not to work though. She hasn't been to work in months.

* * *

The air is thick, it's familiar and it's tricking her. She knows she's okay, she's safe, she's home. But the beating of her heart in her chest is terrifying, the noise above her won't seem to go. She runs and runs. Barely paying attention to where. She doesn't stop until the pounding in her chest threatens to overwhelm her, until her legs feel as though they can no longer hold her fragile body in an upright position. Arizona leans against the wall, her hands on her legs, doubled over as she fights to fuel her body with the oxygen it's craving. She hardly recognises where she is until the gentle sound of a familiar voice from somewhere behind her floods her senses and before she knows it, Arizona is smiling.

 _"My mind runs away to you with a thought I'd hope you'll see. Can't see where it's wandered to but I know where it wants to be."_

Arizona stays where she is. She can't see the brunette whom she knows owns the melodic voice but she knows she's somewhere near, perching on her wall and softly strumming her guitar. She can imagine exactly how she looks, it's a face that's filled her mind for weeks now. Leaning her head back against the wall, she closes her eyes and lets the song, and the woman, invade her senses.

 _"So sick of this lonely air, it seems such a waste of breath. So much that I need to share, so much to get off my chest. I'm waiting patiently though time is moving slow, I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that you're the one designed for me a distant stranger that I will complete. I know you're out there, we're meant to be so keep your head up and make it to me. Make it to me."_

It's been a game they've played for a while now. Shared smiles, lingering glances, extra cups of coffee on a table outside the shop just to hear the voice for longer. Every day she's greeted with a new song that Arizona suspects is played just for her. It calms her in a way she'd long forgotten she could experience. They've never spoken. Not even a word. But Arizona feels as though something pulls her to this woman. Her entire word has fallen down around her and sent her crashing to her knees and yet this voice, that smile, her hauntingly expressive eyes, they're like sellotape and they mould her together for a quick, brief fix at least.

She doesn't even realise what she's doing until she's standing in front of the brunette with a nervous, tender smile. She opens her mouth to speak but instead, places the coffee and a cake wrapped in a napkin on the wall beside her, nods her head slightly and rushes off.

Callie opens her mouth to call after the enigma of a woman whose name she doesn't even know, but instead, she laughs. A beautiful, loud, honest laugh. And some part of the person she used to be almost comes home.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Sorry it's been so long! And I'm sorry it's not the best update. Please do let me know what you think!_

 _"I finally found what I never knew I always wanted."_

The music is loud, pumping through every part of Callie's body. The alcohol she has consumed makes her legs move freely, her arms up above her as she dances wildly to a song with no words. She dances with everybody and nobody, her body gliding against stranger after stranger but connecting with no one at all.

Fear is what has driven her here all over again. Fear, regret and perhaps a sprinkling of desperation. When she closes her eyes all she can see is the blonde haired, blue eyes woman that's haunted her for months, the coffee cup she'd almost thrown away until realising a mobile number was scribbled hastily across it. But then she blinks and the dream is gone. Instead she sees mistake after mistake. Loud, intense beeping of machines. Angry, desperate screaming. Hurried feet scraping along hospital floors. The eerie silence of disbelief. The final nail in her already built coffin. Fear is what has dragged her down. Fear, regret and a longing to feel.

This is how Callie spends most of her week. She ignores her phone and knocks at the door, spending her time either asleep, drinking or in a strangers bed. She begs them, men, women, anyone at all just to make her feel again. Even when she closes her eyes and screams at her release, she doesn't feel alive at all.

 _Hope is long gone. Darkness is everywhere, overwhelming all of her senses. Her clothes are smothered in blood that doesn't belong to her, blood she can feel seeping into her skin and into her bones until it simply becomes part of her. Arizona's head lays against an unmoving chest, ribcage protecting a heart that no longer beats. An arm is draped over the body, embracing it. Not letting go. Never letting go. Far away, somewhere way in the distance, she can hear the sound of laughter and hate churns in the pit of her stomach._

 _She lays, waiting._

 _Waiting for death to take her too._

Woken with a start by her phone ringing, Arizona brushes a hand across her face and through her hair, wiping away the familiar nightmare. Pressing the phone to her ear, she clambers up, mumbling a hello without checking the caller.

Jake rests in his crib beside the bed, still dozing contently and for a moment, his tiny hands curled into fists, one sock no longer on his foot and his eyelashes fluttering as he dreams, everything is right in the world.

"Arizona?"

"Marie?" The familiar voice through the phone makes the blonde's blood run cold.

"Yeah. Hi."

"Wow. Hi." Arizona holds the phone with her shoulder and reaches in to scoop up the tiny baby, somehow managing to keep him sleeping as she cradles him as tightly and as closely as she safely can.

"I just wanted to- well you haven't been by in a while."

"I'm sorry. Really. I've just been busy.

Silence lingers for a moment before either speaks.

"How is he?"

Looking down at Jake, Arizona's smile is immediate, natural. "He's-" _amazing, breathtaking, life changing,_ "he's good. He's well."

"Good, that's, it's really good. Arizona-" the blonde already knows what's coming, "will you come again soon. Please?"

With her entire life in this woman's hands, all she can do is agree.

For the first time in over a week, Callie stays in. She doesn't leave her house all day but she spends hours in a steaming bubble bath, music humming quietly in the background. She puts on some makeup and dresses in some casual clothes, pouring out a glass of water, lighting some candles and curling her legs up under herself with an old black and white movie for company.

Eventually, her mind wanders to where it always does and her eyes fall on the coffee cup on the table beside her. Reaching across, before she can even begin to question herself, Callie taps out a message, types in the number and presses send.

 _[Hey. So, I suck. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get in touch…]_

It's barely five minutes of agonising waiting till Callie's phone beeps.

 _[If this is the pretty girl with the guitar then yes, you do suck. Like super amounts.]_

 _[Yikes. Can we maybe just focus on the part where you called me pretty?]_

 _[What took you so long?]_

Callie bites thumb nail, waiting a second before responding the easiest way she knows how, _[I guess you scare me.]_ She barely gives the stranger a chance to ponder that before quickly typing another message _[I don't even know your name?]_

 _[Arizona]_

 _[I said name not where you're from.]_

 _[Ha ha. Cute.]_

Callie finds herself giggling slightly, something bubbling inside her that she'd long since forgotten, _[I like it, it's very unique.]_

 _[So?]_

 _[?]_

 _[Are you going to tell me your name, or?]_

 _[Oh. It's Callie]_

 _[Callie?]_

 _[Yes]_

 _[Oh.]_

 _[Oh?]_

 _[Sorry, it's a lovely name. I just imagined you'd be called something, I don't know, something... else.]_

 _[Something... else?]_

 _[Yes. I imagined maybe Amaryllis. It means sparkling eyes. Or Mireille. That means miraculous.]_

 _]You're kinda good at flirting, huh?]_

 _[I'm kinda good a lots of things.]_

 _[I can imagine. Thanks by the way, getting your number is probably the most flattering thing that's ever happened to me.]_

 _[You're kidding, right?]_

 _[Not in the slightest.]_

 _[Someone as beautiful as you surely has people falling at their feet. Or at the very least something much more exciting than scribbled numbers on coffee cups.]_

 _[Actually, no. It was really lovely, Arizona. I find myself thinking of you far more often than is probably acceptable.]_

 _[Well the feeling is very mutual. Can we talk more tomorrow? I'd really like to get to know you properly Callie… Far more than is probably acceptable.]_

 _[Calliope. My full name is Calliope. And yes please, I'd really, really like that.]_

 _[Yeah. That's way better. Goodnight Calliope.]_

 _[Goodnight Arizona.]_


End file.
